I have earlier written about what inflated egos can do in terms of behavior, actions, and distorted self-images.
However, we should also be aware of how the ego plays a role when we face rejection. It’s perhaps in these situations our pride hurts the most, even, unfortunately, making us act rudely and unkindly. That’s when we should see the harm we’re causing to ourselves and others. The ego tries to give the impression that we’re not good enough when we’re not chosen. But this is not correct!
Perhaps we should get better at learning that rejection doesn’t define our self-worth but rather see the dating process as tuning into a radio where both parties have their own frequency. When something matches, you’re on the same wavelength, but when there’s no match, you can’t see the bigger picture because you can’t tune in to see it. Sometimes, two good persons aren’t necessarily on the same frequency. They just don’t see each other fully. Life can unfortunately be this way.
The most challenging part is when you see great potential in someone, but they don’t reciprocate. That’s when it hurts and becomes a mismatch. But let’s flip it around. If the other person doesn’t see your potential, is that the kind of person you want? Do you really want someone who only has “one eye” and can’t see your full self? Or is it better to be with someone who has two eyes and sees and appreciates you fully for who you are? Remember that the ego wants quantity, while the heart seeks quality.
If you compromise and chase after someone you’ve mistakenly put on a pedestal, you’ll always be seeking external happiness. It’s exhausting and not a good foundation for a balanced relationship. You are the sole supplier for your own happiness. Not someone else.
Therefore, you might want to look at rejection from a different perspective than what the ego is used to. See it more as “a blessing in disguise” because you don’t really want to be with someone who can’t see your whole self. Such a mindset will make the process less painful and easier to overcome.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look inward to work on self-improvement constantly. You should strive to become a better version of yourself. But threatening to use a bazooka every time you face rejection is never a good solution and often stems from a bruised ego. After all, you can never force someone to love you because love happens from within. It’s better to have enough self-respect to pull away and to acknowledge that the other person isn’t able to see your full potential 🙏❤️.
